What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
