the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My ATM looks so different sober.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I supernannyed him into submission
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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