i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
