I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
