Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
