just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
