I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
