i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
