Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
