Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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