Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
