His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize