Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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