It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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