I can text with my tongue
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I fill condoms, not promises.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
