watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
