we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
