So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize