what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
