if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
