Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
