a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
