I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
