It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
