Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
