Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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