I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Your penis caused this!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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