Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
