so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i think my cat just said my name.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My life is pants optional.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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