ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
