I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
