her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
