you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
