she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
