i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
