I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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