I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
