is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
