I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize