last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize