I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize