HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It's just like the Real World with babies
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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