hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
