when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
