Ambien. No doubt about it.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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