Can i not drive my cunt home
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
