I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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