covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize