Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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