i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wear drunk well.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize