Plan B is the new Plan A
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
