Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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