you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
