he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
