The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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