They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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