You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize