hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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