have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize