mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
