4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
